Tuesday, July 26, 2011


It has been really hot here for the past few weeks. My garden is loving the heat, except for my broccoli. I have been picking green beans every few days, and it has been slowing down a little. So far I have frozen them instead of canned them. This picture was taken after a really good day of picking.
I really need to take some more pictures of the garden. I am getting a lot of peppers, zucchini, yellow squash and cucumbers. I am hoping to make dill pickles tomorrow. My herbs are coming on, and I have been dehydrating them. My favorite right now is chocolate mint :). My tomatoes are loaded down, but are still green. I looooooove summer gardening!

My mother-in-law and I went last week and picked blueberries on the second hottest day of the year. Ugh! We were dripping wet after 2 hours. We bought the rest. We picked around 15 pounds each, and bought another 50. They were organic again this year, and they are really yummy. I froze all but 5 pounds. My freezer is getting really full!

The 4H Fair rolled around again, and it hasn't been as horribly hot for it this week, which is nice. We went over the weekend, and had a fun day of seeing the animals and riding some of the ride. This year's strange fair food had to be deep fried Kool-Aid. Seriously? You could top that off with deep fried butter (another high health fair food treat). Wow, just typing the words "deep fried butter" makes me feel like I gained a few pounds. Obviously we didn't try either one of those things. Jeff and I tried deep fried candy bars one year, because a friend told us they were great. We couldn't finish them. I think it was a years worth of sugar and fat all rolled into one artery clogging fried candy bar.

Evie decided to have a little humor with Daisy. I didn't know how funny this picture was until after I looked at it on my computer. I could not stop laughing. She wore that thing for about 20 minutes without taking it off, but she had that same look on her face the entire time!

I wanted to thank you all for your comments and prayers regarding the miscarriage. My body has healed well, and I feel better. I am still dealing with some fatigue, but it is getting better every day. The sadness is still there, but it is lessening as time goes on. Thank you all for caring!

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Hard week

It has been a week unlike any I have experienced in 11 years. I kinda wish I could just skip this whole week and just go a few weeks ahead, but life doesn't work out that way does it. On July 3rd, I found out I was carrying a tiny life in me. I hadn't been pregnant in 11 years. Wow, that almost doesn't seem possible. After losing 6 babies, I didn't want to be pregnant again. A few months ago, Jeff and I decided that we should be open to the possibility of what God would want for us in the way of having more children. I got pregnant after trying only 2 months, which was a complete shock to me. It was a shock enough that I actually had Jeff go out and keep buying tests! I think I took 5 all together. I don't think I ever really got excited because I was so guarded. I wish I could write and say I'm feeling sick from morning sickness, and getting cravings, but that won't ever be. Two days ago, I lost the life I was carrying. My baby went to be with my others, and with Jesus.
This miscarriage was by far the most painful physically. After it was all over, I felt like someone had beat me up.

I think the days after are the hardest, not so much physically, but emotionally. I hate grief. I am too familiar with it. When you lose a child, it is hard to even explain the feelings. After I lost 6, I felt like I didn't look at death like anyone else I knew except Jeff. I can't even explain that in words. I tend to look at eternity a lot more than most people. I guess that happens to people to have had a lot of loss. I think about my kids, now 7 of them, 8 including Evie. I won't get to see 7 of my kids ever on this earth, but I will get to spend all of eternity with them, and with Evie, because we know Christ as our Savior. It is my hope. It is what gets me through this. I can't imagine the hopelessness for those who don't believe that way. Jeff's grandmother accepted Christ at the age of 93, 1 month before she died. She died a few weeks ago. Her husband, who is not a believer in Jesus, stood over her grave in complete hopelessness and said, "I guess this is all there is to this life." Wow. I can't imagine. He believes that he will never see her again. He believes that she died, and that is it. If I believed that way right now, I think I would want to go jump off the tallest building. My hope, the hope that comes only from Jesus, is what keeps me going through grief. The hope that those I have lost like my kids, my grandparents, a very close friend (who was like a mother to me), relatives and family friends will be with me in eternity because we accepted Christ as our Savior. This life, this short, short life, is like a vapor compared to eternity. I heard it put this way: Picture a golf ball as your life, representing about 80 or so years. Now put the golf ball in a football stadium and fill the rest of the stadium to overflowing with golf balls, each ball representing 80 years of eternity. That still won't compare to how long eternity will be! If we know Jesus as our Savior, He promised us eternal life in heaven with Him! But to have that, we have to accept Him. We can't just believe in God. The Bible says that even Satan believes in God. It is about a personal relationship with Christ. It is about allowing Him to be in control of your life. It is about making Him your Lord and your Savior. I'm so thankful for the hope that I will see my children one day, in a place where there will be no sadness, pain, sorrow or death. I am so thankful for that amazing gift of hope that Christ gave us.