Thursday, May 14, 2009


I am going through that major spring urge to cut my hair. I'm not sure why this happens every spring, but it does. A few days ago, I trimmed off another 2-3 inches, so now I am at waist length. I now wish it was 2 inches longer because now I am having trouble doing my usual updos because my hair is shorter. I wish I could just be content with my hair. Is any woman ever content with their hair? It seems that around the time of my birthday, I really starting feeling like my hair looked ridiculous. Like I was way too old for this long of hair. Like people thought I really looked horrible. Why oh why do I even care what other people think of my hair! UGHHHHH! You see these makeover shows, and they all chop their hair. The audience and the people on stage really think the long hair is disgusting. I have heard teen girls talk about really long hair, and they actually said they thought it was gross (they actually used that word). I guess I'm just feeling quite insecure about my hair lately. Maybe because I have heard way too many people say things like, "You would look really nice if your hair was just past your shoulders". I see all these trendy styles, and have seriously thought of cutting my hair to bra strap length with layers. It is that never-ending desire to feel hip. My hubby thinks my hair is a security issue. He thinks that if I were more secure with myself, then I wouldn't care what others thought of my hair. He is usually right about things :). I just need to figure out how to boost that security!


Daisy said...

Hi Jen ... you sure struggle with that don't you! I took a forbidden hair straighter and straightened my hair the other day, as I was frustrated with my hair looking messy-ish and not polished so to speak. I'd love to look polished with gorgeous long straight flowing hair a classy pair of pumps and a pretty skirt with a cute little jacket! We all have a mental image of what we want to look like ... I think us women get this way sometimes, I know I do ... whether it's hair, weight, or clothing. But then sometimes my dh will say I look sexy when I look my frumpy-est ... so go figure, beauty is all in the eye of the beholder.

SchnauzerMom said...

I agree with your DH. Not that I practice that. I get a periodic urge to cut but so far I have resisted. I wish we all could be content with the way God made us and not desire to look like someone else. Will that day ever come? Don't know.

Jen said...

I Daisy! Thank you for the words of encouragement! I would love to straighten my hair sometime. I sure wish they would make one that straightened without heat! I guess it wouldn't work then though :). I'm starting to think that Jules' suggestion on her blog about long hair support is really important. I hadn't been on the Loom for a long time. Maybe that is why the urge gets stronger. I'm going to try and get on there often to get more support. Thanks for always making me see things differently Daisy :). You are so good about that :).

Hi Kathryn! You are doing a great job resisting the temptation! Your hair looks so beautiful!!

April said...

I understand wanting to feel "hip", but my idea of it is probably different from yours. To me, long hair is very hip! :) Maybe you could increase your perception of hipness through different makeup or style of clothes? It would be easier to change them around than the length of your hair. Or better yet, realize that you are beautiful the way you are.

We women are always critical of the way we look, but I must tell you from my experience it gets better the older you get. At least it has with me; I don't obsess nearly as much as I did when I was your age. I feel quite unencumbered now! (But I am still WAY more critical of my appearance than any man... sigh...)

I agree that long hair support is important. Whenever I feel bored or discouraged about the lack of "style" my long hair has, all I have to do is go online and look at all the pictures of beautiful long hair on the hair boards. I usually leave feeling quite inspired.


Jen said...

Hi April! In our area, the styles are very trendy. I dress fairly trendy, I just don't have the hair cut like everyone else. Literally everyone here seems to have about the same haircut. Typing that out just makes it sound really boring :). I am starting to see that I could cut my hair and still not feel hip! I need to learn to be comfortable in my own skin. I hope that comes as I grow older. I believe God can help me with that too, so I'm going to start praying about that. That is one good thing about get to type out your thoughts and see things in a different perspective. Having comments from people that have a different perspective is even more helpful :)! Thank you so much for your thoughts! You had some wise words to say!

Jules said...

Hi Jen, I go through this periodically. Just the other day I was tempted to go down town and see if someone - anyone - would cut and colour (gasp!) my hair for me. I just felt so frumpy and old. I work with other women and see lots of women during the course of the day and a whole lot of them have modern hairstyles and by the end of the day I'm wondering why I'm holding onto my long locks. Especially when I have to wear it up in a bun everyday since it's getting too long for a braid for work (I discovered that when my braid fell forward and hit a child in the face - LOL).

At the moment the only reason it's still long is because DH likes it this way. I could go back to BSL and I might be happy but then I might not be but DH would miss the 'wow factor' of the longer hair. He just loves seeing it down and flowing right down my back. If he didn't care either way I'd probably be sporting one of those short styles you see every day and which all look alike!

You once told me that our long hair is pleasing to God. As with other things in our Christian walk, sometimes what is pleasing to God is not inline with the world's standards.

I have always admired your hair and love seeing photos of it. I really think it's gorgeous. Wouldn't it be good if all us long hairs could live in the same town!

Jules said...

Hi, me again. I showed my DH your latest siggy photo on the Loom and that you'd mentioned cutting to shoulder and he said, "You're joking! Tell her not to cut. Her hair is gorgeous." Then he looked a little sheepish and asked if he was allowed to admire someone else's hair. Of course he can especially when it's as lovely as yours. He said to forget about what others think or say (or don't say) as your hair is really beautiful and you should never think of cutting it.

Kelly said...

Hi Jen, Your hubby is a wise man and of course I agree with him as well.
Your hair is beautiful. But I don't consider bra strap, mid back length hair short by today's standards anyway.
Things are obviously regional, around here I see about 20% of women with hair that is mid back or longer. Seeing them, and my daughter's request that I grow my hair long, is what prompted me to start growing my hair out again. And most of the teen girls have long hair around me, so it is a local thing.
I had short very trendy hair years ago, cut my shoulder length hair about four months after my wedding. And while I liked it then, I look at the photos now and it doesn't look very feminine to me. And it took even more work than my wavy hair does now. I had to blow dry it straight every day, that was a real pain in the but!!!
Now my hair is slightly below my shoulders. I can braid it and put it up now!. And with my waves I can leave it down which I usually do.

Obviously if this is a time of year thing, you just wait it out before making a decision. Sometimes simple solutions are best. I have been bothered recently by my increasing gray hair, then this morning I remembered that by changing my part in my hair I can hide 90% of the grays. I'm tempted to dye my hair but trying to avoid that since I know now how bad that is for your hair.

Whatever your decision you'll learn something about yourself.

Jen said...

Jules, I just can't picture you with a modern hairstyle! You have such beautiful hair, and I can't imagine you cutting it. I think it is wonderful that your hubby loves it so much :). That is how Jeff has been too. He really loves my hair long, and that has always meant a lot to me! I started to remember that updos were not as exciting at shorter lengths. I can do so many different interesting updos with this length and longer. If I go much shorter, I won't be able to do a lot of them. So all this has helped me to think. And thank you SO MUCH for the suggestion of having support around you to keep it long. Since being on the Loom more often, it has helped a lot to boost my self esteem about my hair. Thank you for your kinds words, and tell your hubby thank you for the HUGE compliment!

Jen said...

Hi Kelly! Great to hear from you! Wow, your hair has really grown! It sounds like you are having lots of fun with it :). I wish I saw more long hair where we live. In the town we used to live in, there was a very large Apostolic community, so I saw very long hair every day. Now I see it rarely. I do see it hispanic women, but that is about it. I rarely see a woman with my length of hair. You are right about this being a learning experience! I am learning a lot about myself through this :).