I have a bunch of thoughts rolling around in my head today. I really was enjoying blogging, and reading everyone's blogs. Now some blogs are becoming so negative that I can't even visit them. I thought blogging was supposed to be fun! I am realizing that life is too short to get stressed out about stuff I read online. Life is going to happen, regardless of what is written about on someone's blog. I can change things by prayer, and by taking action on things, but obsessing about issues isn't going to help make my life any better. I know that God is in control. He is not shocked off the throne by things that are happening. I am so thankful that He is my God. I'm so thankful for the gifts He gives us.
I think I have been getting riled up reading political blogs because of the abortion debate. In my mind, it should not be a debate. I have been pregnant and know that a baby has a beating heart in the womb at 5 1/2 weeks of age. I have seen my ultrasounds. I know that is not a blob of tissue. I just can't figure out why others don't seem to see it that way. How can someone who has felt life move in their womb, seen an ultrasound or ever held a newborn baby even think that life doesn't begin at conception? People talk about Pro Choice. Does that baby in the womb get a choice? I get so aggrevated that adoption is rarely even talked about as an option. At Planned Parenthood clinics, women are advised to abort or keep the baby. Adoption is not even a consideration in their minds. I have been thinking a lot about Evie's birthmother lately. What is crazy is that today I received a letter from the adoption agency where we adopted Evie, giving us some updated information about Evie's birthmom. That has only happened one other time in Evie's 6 years of life. I had been sending letters and pictures to the agency for them to send to her since Evie was born (this is customary in adoptions). We have what is called a semi-open adoption. The birthmom doesn't know our last names or where we live, but we send letters and pictures to the agency so they can send them to her. I had been concerned about her for quite some time because we had been sending stuff, and the agency said they had lost touch with her. She finally contacted them, and has had some personal problems, but is doing okay. All day yesterday, before I even got the letter, I had been thinking about her for some reason. Getting the letter today brought back all kinds of memories for me. I was thinking about the first time we met her, right before Evie was born. She was 8 months along, and was a beautiful and sweet person. She was tiny, except for the round belly. I think that many people have this idea that birthmom's really want to give their babies up for adoption, and that they don't really care about their babies. They don't realize what an agonizing decision it is for them. She was so emotional during our meeting, that Jeff and I almost didn't want to go through with it because we felt so sad for her. Her pain was raw, and it was real. On Mother's Day I always feel great sadness for her, as I'm sure it is a hard day for her. I am so grateful for the gift she gave us. Yesterday and today I was remembering the moment when Evie was placed in my arms at 2 days old. I don't think I have ever seen a more beautiful baby. She had tons of hair, and amazingly it was the exact same color as mine. God did that just for me :). I remember that first night with her, and Jeff and I kept turning on the light just to stare at her. A lot of it seems like a blur. Lack of sleep will do that to you! Thankfully I kept a diary during that time (and still do), so I will have those memories in writing.
I think adoption is one of the greatest gifts. I get a little glimpse into what it is like to be in the family of God. According to the Bible, in Ephesians 1, we are adopted into God's family when we accept Christ. So just like Evie is now forever a part of my family, I am forever in God's family. He sees me as His daughter. This year, Evie asked Jesus into her heart. What a blessing that was for us because now she is a part of God's family too. I am so grateful to God for His gift of salvation. What a joy to know that I will forever be with Him, but also will be able to be with others that I love who also know Him.