Thursday, September 18, 2008

Thoughts and ramblings

I have a bunch of thoughts rolling around in my head today. I really was enjoying blogging, and reading everyone's blogs. Now some blogs are becoming so negative that I can't even visit them. I thought blogging was supposed to be fun! I am realizing that life is too short to get stressed out about stuff I read online. Life is going to happen, regardless of what is written about on someone's blog. I can change things by prayer, and by taking action on things, but obsessing about issues isn't going to help make my life any better. I know that God is in control. He is not shocked off the throne by things that are happening. I am so thankful that He is my God. I'm so thankful for the gifts He gives us.

I think I have been getting riled up reading political blogs because of the abortion debate. In my mind, it should not be a debate. I have been pregnant and know that a baby has a beating heart in the womb at 5 1/2 weeks of age. I have seen my ultrasounds. I know that is not a blob of tissue. I just can't figure out why others don't seem to see it that way. How can someone who has felt life move in their womb, seen an ultrasound or ever held a newborn baby even think that life doesn't begin at conception? People talk about Pro Choice. Does that baby in the womb get a choice? I get so aggrevated that adoption is rarely even talked about as an option. At Planned Parenthood clinics, women are advised to abort or keep the baby. Adoption is not even a consideration in their minds. I have been thinking a lot about Evie's birthmother lately. What is crazy is that today I received a letter from the adoption agency where we adopted Evie, giving us some updated information about Evie's birthmom. That has only happened one other time in Evie's 6 years of life. I had been sending letters and pictures to the agency for them to send to her since Evie was born (this is customary in adoptions). We have what is called a semi-open adoption. The birthmom doesn't know our last names or where we live, but we send letters and pictures to the agency so they can send them to her. I had been concerned about her for quite some time because we had been sending stuff, and the agency said they had lost touch with her. She finally contacted them, and has had some personal problems, but is doing okay. All day yesterday, before I even got the letter, I had been thinking about her for some reason. Getting the letter today brought back all kinds of memories for me. I was thinking about the first time we met her, right before Evie was born. She was 8 months along, and was a beautiful and sweet person. She was tiny, except for the round belly. I think that many people have this idea that birthmom's really want to give their babies up for adoption, and that they don't really care about their babies. They don't realize what an agonizing decision it is for them. She was so emotional during our meeting, that Jeff and I almost didn't want to go through with it because we felt so sad for her. Her pain was raw, and it was real. On Mother's Day I always feel great sadness for her, as I'm sure it is a hard day for her. I am so grateful for the gift she gave us. Yesterday and today I was remembering the moment when Evie was placed in my arms at 2 days old. I don't think I have ever seen a more beautiful baby. She had tons of hair, and amazingly it was the exact same color as mine. God did that just for me :). I remember that first night with her, and Jeff and I kept turning on the light just to stare at her. A lot of it seems like a blur. Lack of sleep will do that to you! Thankfully I kept a diary during that time (and still do), so I will have those memories in writing.

I think adoption is one of the greatest gifts. I get a little glimpse into what it is like to be in the family of God. According to the Bible, in Ephesians 1, we are adopted into God's family when we accept Christ. So just like Evie is now forever a part of my family, I am forever in God's family. He sees me as His daughter. This year, Evie asked Jesus into her heart. What a blessing that was for us because now she is a part of God's family too. I am so grateful to God for His gift of salvation. What a joy to know that I will forever be with Him, but also will be able to be with others that I love who also know Him.


SchnauzerMom said...

I totally agree with you. There's a blog or two that I'm going to have to stay away from. At least until after the election. How can we say God Bless American when we kill millions of babies every year? It's a terrible thing.

Jules said...

Jen, I totally agree with you that a baby is fully human and has an eternal soul (I don't think you mentioned that but I'm assuming from what you've written that you'd agree) from the moment of conception. There are many reasons why other people don't want to believe that: 1. If they've been taught that we all evolved from pond scum then a babe in the womb is just a part of that process of evolution and has no value until it starts to breath independently; 2. They don't want to know. In Romans I think it is it says that people will be willingly ignorant. 3. Selfishness. If they start to believe that the baby has as much as a right to live as they do, then it may mean they'll have to change some things in their lives. 4. It's an easy way out of what at first appears to be a difficult situation (e.g. unmarried mothers, babies that have genetic problems, etc). 5. They close their ears/hearts and are prepared to believe the medical profession etc when they're told that the baby isn't alive or won't feel pain or it's in the best interests of the mother/baby, or whatever.

And I'm sure you can think of more reasons.

What scares me about abortion being so readily available is that during those early weeks when the decision is made to abort, the woman is not in a situation to make wise choices, especially if the pregnancy was unplanned. There's hormones and emotions going crazy and women need time to sort through all of that. I know of women who considered abortion, and were so glad later that they didn't take that step, because as they got further into the pregnancy, and they were able to accept the new life growing within and *feel* it for the first time, their whole perspective changed.

I once watched an abortion on a TV documentary and it was the saddest and most horendous thing I ever witnessed. One minute that tiny baby was alive, the next dead. I will never forget the grief I felt at that moment.

Sorry to ramble on. There's a lot more that I can say. But I'm sure you get the picture.

BTW, I'm sorry if my blog has depressed you. Perhaps it's time for me to "clean house".

Jules said...

Just wanted to add, that it so cool that Evie has now accepted Christ into her heart.

I love the quote I heard years ago that said that for children growing up in Christian homes, accepting Christ should be as natural as ducks taking to water. Sometimes we get all hung up on whether they really understand what they're doing, and forget that Jesus said we are to have faith like a child.

I can just imagine how exciting this must have been for you. It is exciting!!!!

Jen said...

Good point SM. I hope and pray that someday abortion will be a thing of the past.

Jen said...

Jules, first of all, your blog is not depressing! I was definitely NOT referring to your blog when I talked about negative blogs. So I wanted to clarify that. Also, your points were very good. And yes, I agree that the baby has an eternal soul at the moment of conception. That was what got me through all my miscarriages...I knew I would see my babies again and spend eternity with them in heaven with Jesus. What a blessing that is to know! I think people just don't want to believe abortion is a bad thing because they think it is an easy solution. Here in the US, women can get late term abortions. We are talking 2nd and 3rd trimester. I remember seeing a video of a 2nd trimester abortion, and the baby is clearly screaming and trying to get away from the surgical instrument that was getting ready to take his life. It was the most horrible thing I have ever seen. There is even a law that was trying to be passed that would allow doctors to give the baby painkillers before they kill them. Sadly, it didn't pass. Interesting that when a baby in the womb is supposed to be operated on in the womb (like for cases with spina bifida), they give the baby anesthesia so the baby won't feel pain during the surgery. Yet they say that a baby being aborted isn't a baby and doesn't feel pain. It is all so frustrating and sad.

Jules said...

Jen, it seems to all depend on whether you want the baby or not as to whether it's human or not. At say 24 weeks a woman and her team of medical professionals can be fighting for the life of her baby when the woman has gone into labour early, and right next door another woman at 24 weeks can be undergoing an abortion and justifying it by saying that it's just a blob of tissue. As you pointed out there is no consistency and it is subject to human's whims.

The United Nations Conventions on the Right of the Child states that the child has a right to life before birth, but where do we see this in practice?

A few years ago our local hospital wanted to offer an abortion clinic as part of the hospital's medical services! How can it be a medical service when it has a mortality rate of 50%? Many concerned citizens of this town protested and it never happened. But sadly it's still all too readily available.

And sadly, those parents who would gladly welcome a child will never be parents because adoption lists are closing and women are aborting their babies rather than giving them up for adoption. And can you believe it, I've even heard it said that it's better for the baby to be aborted than adopted because you never know what kind of family they'll end up in. (Can you hear me screaming?)

Sorry. Rambled on again.

Kelly said...

Jen so well said. I too have been upset by some blogs and went from regularly reading about 8 blogs to just 3 blogs. Life is too short to get upset by what someone says.
I did not know that Evie was adopted! I thought she looked EXACTLY like you! What a great story of her adoption, that is wonderful

Jen said...

Wow, that last thing you wrote about people saying, "it would be better for the baby to be aborted than adopted because you never know what family they will end up in" obviously knows nothing about the adoption process! My word, you have to fill out a stack of paperwork the size of 10 encylopedias put together (and I am not exaggerating), you have to get a police record check, you have to have someone from the adoption agency come to your house and check out you and your house, you have to give record of pretty much everything you have done in your life, and you have to have tons of references, none of which can be family. People who have kids the normal way don't have to go through anything like this! It took us a solid month just to fill out the paperwork. By the time they get done, the agency KNOWS what kind of family you are!

Jen said...

Kelly, you must be on here the same time as me :). I love that you said Evie looks just like me! That just made my day :).